Thursday, September 01, 2005

More Non-Fans

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I have blogged before about Non Fans, sites that I like or admire, but which aren't fans of Beyond You & Me. None of them linked with me, so this new crop of non-fans shouldn't be seen as a pathetic attempt to solicit links (well, it's not, but think what you like).



One of the better sex blogs is Waking Vixen about Audacia Ray, one of the moths circling Jefferson's flame. Tough-minded yet vulnerable, she's every inch the modern liberated woman that Cassie aspired to become in 1975. And while she continues to push a modeling career and a very un-monagamous lifestyle, she is honest about some misgivings that lifestyle engenders in her. Certainly a refreshing change for the tough whores and doms with attitude one finds everywhere. I'm not against BDSM in any way, nor against folks paying for sex, but I think at times the glorification of sex work is a little like the mainstreaming of porn: a bit disengenuous. So maybe I'm just enough of the intellectual to respect someone who has reservations and qualms about a balls-to-the-wall life. Do we as a society have more respect for wafflers than those with no doubts?

How could a novel about a bisexual married woman not find a blog about a bisexual woman about to marry interesting? Heterophobic is the story of Boy and Girl (no real names, please), a Houston-based couple who are navigating the shoals of the modern romance. Both are bisexual, so the permutations are pretty interesting. Funny and witty, not usually very salacious, but insightful and passionate as the young almost always are.

Their bisexuality has clearly been a positive development in their lives. That isn't quite the case with Lost in Tradtion. It's the journal of a married woman who admits her only fulfilling sexual relationship was with another woman, and who has had experiences with both sexes both before and after her marriage. It's a searing read, and not meant to titilate. But for sheer honesty, it's very compelling.

A novel about a three-way love triangle can't remain immune to the charms of Petite Anglaise. The blog of a British 30-something living in Paris, the subject matter is adultery and her struggle to balance her young child, French in-laws and her lover. A sweet mixture of everyday life and touching romance. Not every blogger can capture the emotions of life, but P.A. does very well in this department, striking the right mixture of seriousness without the gooey sweetness of many diarists on the 'Net.

OK, I know I'm going to get hate mail for this, but I find This Fish Needs a Bicycle icky. The premise of this wildly-popular blog is that a nice, slightly ditzy 26 year-old single in New York can give us Carrie Bradshaw and smiles on a semi-daily basis. Hey, Cassie's 24, you'd think there'd be a connection? But after I read Heather Hunter's well-written, often amusing posts, I feel like I need to brush my teeth (no, she's not the porn star with the same name; the teeth brushing in that case might be after an activity other than reading). Absence Makes, a paen to her best friend who's successful, married and has a gorgeous child, elicited scores of adoring comments from her fans, yet it reminded me of a pathetic high school girl with a crush on her prom-queen friend. Her posting about Girl Dating also struck me as missing the point, but then, her fans felt I did when I pointed out the Freudian undertones of grown women going out on "dates" with one another. Sure, all Platonic, sorry, what MUST I have been thinking? Of course, then there's the account of a man trying to get her into a threesome with his girlfriend and her meeting him for drinks and smooches, so you be the judge. The name of the blog, by the way, is a mild rebuke of the Irina Dunn 1970 declaration that "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Maybe if The Fish gets married and lives her dream it will all work out for her, too? But don't feel too badly for her, she's got her own merchandise you can buy, including t-shirts that urge guys to "Be the bike." Does the word "groveling" have any meaning to 20-something women? Fish fans can call me dense, and I know I'm being silly to dish a blog with seemingly hundreds of links, but....

How can a novel about a bisexual woman who works in Yale's Sterling Library not be interested in a site about a bisexual librarian? Kinky Librarian writes with honesty, clarity and she's funny at times, too. Her post about wishing to have better "Bidar"
("Gaydar" for bisexuals) cracked me up. This isn't salacious details about pussies and cocks, it's more about dealing with the consequences and pleasures of a flexible sexual orientation.

One of the stranger blogs I've read is Layla: Diary of a Life in Progress. This is another no-hold-barred look at the challenges of living. Take the entry that says "I don't feel inspired unless my life is shit. I like the grit. I like the ugly and the dirty. It makes me feel real. Alive. Not false." No sugar-coating like This Fish Needs a Bicycle, but maybe The Fish just hasn't had the grit in her life that Layla has? But don't miss her analysis of her struggles with monogamy. Searing.

Finally, there's much to be said for Miss Snark. She's witty, to-the-point, and no bullshit when it comes to agents and the publishing industry. But it would be better if y'all went over to her site and let her tell you herself. She's not shy, and won't hold anything back.

And to answer your question, I don't know if she's one of the agents approached about Beyond You & Me because I don't know her real name.