1. I am the oldest of four children.
2. I have a sister and two brothers.
3. I don't have any secrets from those I love-- except P. because I don't want to hurt him.
4. I hate my feet because I'm REALLY ticklish (I'd break your arm kicking you if you tried and couldn't help it).
5. I like watching hockey and old movies and "Monty Python."
6. I don't watch network TV, but I loved "The Smothers Brothers."
7. The best part was Pat Paulson.
8. He would've been a better president than Nixon.
8. The music groups were good, too, especially "The Doors" and "The Jefferson Airplane."
9. I am a secretary in Manuscripts & Archives of Yale's Sterling Library.
10. I hate every minute I'm there.
11. My co-workers treat me like shit and won't let me do anything interesting.
12. That's because I don't have a college degree.
13. At Yale, only wives with college degrees get the good jobs.
14. No husbands of students work in the library. No husbands of students work, they're all students themselves.
15. I grew up with both of my parents.
16. I'm bisexual, maybe tending to lesbian. At least P. thinks so. I do like women.
17. But I'm also married and still am attracted to some men.
18. Go figure.
19. I am not homophobic. Duh.
20. I've been married for 5 years.
21. My best friend is my husband.
22. But also S.
23. He's not here any longer, he left to go to grad school at Harvard.
24. I went to public school.
25. I loved school and hated summers because there wasn't a fucking thing to do in South Philly.
26. I am from South Philadelphia, the predominantly Italian-American part of Philadelphia.
27. I am predominantly Italian-American, though my mother is English-Irish.
28. My parents fight constantly because they're so different (so much for body heat).
29. In the last election, I voted for McGovern.
30. Not many people did, which is why we ended up with that criminal, Nixon.
31. I believe welfare recipients should have to work to receive benefits.
32. In South Philly, most people think blacks are lazy and don't want to work.
33. I had black friends in high school, but think some of them should stop trying to get by on welfare.
34. I try to write correctly, but am a terrible speller.
35. If I could choose any career in the world, I would be a doctor.
36. I want to go back to college when P. is finished and become SOMETHING.
37. If offered $500,000,000.00 for eating crap, I would have to think about it.
38. I live on Clark Street in New Haven, CT.
39. I have lived away from home since I was 19, but have never lived alone.
40. We pay too much for rent, but all the Yalies do, because the townies think we're all the sons and duaghters of rich fuckers.
41. I work with 4 men and 12 women and hate all of them except my boss because they look down on secretaries.
42. I audit classes at Yale, one of its few benefits.
43. The first two years, I learned German.
44. One of P.'s areas of concentration is German Romantic literature.
45. It came in handy with S. who is German.
46. No, I don't know what the thing is about German in my life!
47. I flunked out of Temple University after freshman year.
48. I don't belong to any church, and don't think much of organized religion; Billy Graham "saved" me at one of his tent revivals down the lakes in South Philly when I was 12.
49. Nevertheless I believe in God.
50. I haven't been to church since I got married.
51. I don't think most churchgoers would want someone like me coming to their services, especially if I came with P. and another woman.
52. I want to have children but NOT NOW!!
53. When I do have kids, I want both a boy and a girl.
54. I want my son and his sister to learn to skate and play hockey. Girls can do anything boys can, even though my mother wouldn't let me learn to ride a bike until my father bought me one on the sly when I was 15.
55. I broke 1100 on my SAT's.
56. My parents didn't even say anything when I got into Temple.
57. Clothes aren't the most important thing in the world, but I once came home at lunch and changed out of a dress because my co-workers were congratulating me on getting pregnant.
58. I was named after my grandmother and my Aunt Emma.
59. One of my best friends in high school is about to become a plastic surgeon. Another is a lawyer and one of the boys I dated in high school was just sent away from fraud and embezzlement.
60. I struggle with every day, more so since this past Spring and S.
61. I like waffles with boysenberry syrup as a treat for breakfast.
62. Zucchini is my favorite green vegetable.
63. Fried zuchini flowers are my second favorite (dipped in batter and deep-fat-fried).
64. I once prayed I would wake up with an Irish brogue after seeing "Darby O'Gill and the Little People."
65. I am bad with intimate relationships because I can't keep my feelings bottled up.
66. I value my friendships, but don't have many friends here in New Haven.
67. I have known half my friends from high school, the other half from the one year at Temple.
68. My mom doesn't understand why I work outside the home.
69. It means we're not as close as we could be because she calls me up and harrangues me about it.
70. I think love makes people fucking crazy. It did me.
71. I try to be logical, P. says I'm too emotional.
72. I have been writing this journal since May.
73. I hope it will make getting over S. easier.
74. So far, it hasn't.
75. New Year's is my least favorite holiday because you're supposed to feel happy even if you're not.
76. I shop to distract myself from my shitty job.
77. I grocery shop by myself because P. is so picky about what he wants, we'd spend hours doing it together,
78. I have never turned a cartwheel because I don't have much upper body strength (all my strength seems to be lodged in my vaginal muscles).
79. My mother smokes and is getting short of breath. She had rheumatic fever as a child and it left her with a heart murmur.
80. I got sent home from school for wearing a skirt that was too short when I was 17.
81. I do not regret my first boyfriend.
82. We still keep in touch.
83. I have not been to any weddings since I got married.
84. I love cranberry juice, it wards off urinary tract infections, which I get a lot of (using a diaphragm for birth control doesn't help, plus I like to be fingered).
85. I lost several best friends because of boys, especially after I developed.
86. I have no god children.
87. My bed is some crap we picked up at the Salvation Army furniture room.
88. We bought it because it was very inexpensive.
89. I think Alexis Smith is to die for.
90. I have seen "The Godfather" numerous times.
91. I speak pig-Latin fluently.
92. I took four years of Latin in high school, but remember almost nothing of it.
93. Mozarella is my favorite cheese, raw or cooked.
94. My favorite soda is Tab.
95. I love cooking for other people.
96. If I were to die tomorrow, I would have many regrets.
97. I am a big fan of Marlon Brando and Al Pacino.
98. I think Faye Dunaway is super in "Three Days of the Condor." Many people say I look like Goldie Hawn. She's not my type. I wouldn't kick Julie Christie out of bed, though. Not by a long shot.
99. Robert Redford might be able to make me break my marriage vows.
100. I believe that today is yesterday's consequence, and that if I want to change my tomorrow, I have to change my decisions today. But I don't think I can most of the time.