What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
To live without love.
Where would you like to live?
New York or Paris.
What is your idea of earthly happiness?
Mmmm, lots of beautiful women.
To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Sloth and lust.
Who is your favorite hero of contemporary fiction?
I am very fond of Hesse's Demian. Peter Handke's poor goalie in The Goalie's Anxiety Before the Penalty Kick.
Who are your favorite characters in history?
Frederick the Great, because he was German but spoke fluent French instead. Seems like a good model for ex-patriot Krauts like myself.
Your favorite painter?
I'm especially drawn to Dürer and his vainglorious "Self Portrait" in the pose of the Christ.
Your favorite composer?
Brahms, Bach, it's hard to say.
Your favorite musician?
Do you mean American pop stars? I don't follow them. I like American jazz, especially the music of Coltrane.
Your favorite film?
"The Conformist" by Bertolucci. The lesbian tango sequence would make it worth the price of admission, but the way that it captures the bombastic qualities of fascism is just brilliant.
The qualities you most admire in a man?
A firm handshake and a tolerant attitude if I seduce his wife.
The physical qualities you most admire in a man?
A good jaw line makes me respectful, though I'm not really sexually aroused by men.
The qualities you most admire in a woman?
Great legs and a good ass. The shoulders are the most sensuous part of a woman, however. Oh, you're talking about moral qualities? A good sense of humor and honesty.
Favorite ethnic or racial type?
Italian-Americans at present.
The physical qualities you most admire in a woman?
Great legs. I said that, didn't I? American men are consumed with breasts, and I must confess that I've become more interested in them since meeting a particular American woman.
How old where you when you had your first sexual experience with a woman?
I was thirteen.
What was the age difference?
She was in her 20s I would suspect. A Parisian prostitute.
My performance was, shall I say, abbreviated. But the goal was what you Americans call "missionary sex."
How old where you when you had your first sexual experience with a man?
I was 16.
What was the age difference?
No difference. He was a friend.
That's a funny question. Actually, I hardly remember anything. I was so totally in awe of him, I would have done anything he asked.
Where is the most outrageous locale you had sex with a woman?
In a taxi going down Fifth Avenue in Manhattan with my Jewish dumpling. She was late for a ballet recital and was changing in the back seat. Being a gentleman, I offered to help.
Where is the most outrageous locale you had sex with a man?
Well, since I am not a flaming queen, I can't claim any outrageous locales. My experience was, how shall I put it? Discrete and mercifully brief.
Where is the most outrageous locale you had sex with both a man and a woman?
My only experience with a man and a woman together is something recent, something I would rather say as little as possible about.
Have you had sexual experiences with the friend of a girlfriend or spouse?
Have you had sexual experiences with a colleague of your girlfriend/spouse?
Have you had sexual experiences with a colleague from the office?
Well, I am a university student, and I thankfully am unemployed!
Have you ever watched your significant other have sex with another woman?
I'm sorry to say no. I have suggested it to Cassie, but I don't know whether it's something she would consider.
Is this your most enduring obsession?
Mmmmmm, I can't say it is not.
What have you watched precisely?
Only pornographic films for the most part. Very interesting, but ultimately frustrating.
Are you a voyeur?
Hmmmm, I haven't had enough experience to know for sure.
Has your girlfriend ever watched you having sex with another woman?
Have you ever paid money for sex?
Yes, many times.
Have you ever accepted money for sex?
Your favorite virtue?
Piety, of which I have little.
Your favorite occupation?
Writing. I hope to become a famous college professor someday.
Your most marked characteristic?
The ability to squander an almost limitless amount of time.
What is your principle defect?
A capacity for self-doubt that defies all successes.
What is your favorite occupation?
College professor, followed by lion tamer.
What is your dream of happiness?
To sail down the Nile on a barge covered with rose petals. Failing that, to be comfortable enough to travel, beloved enough never to be lonely, intelligent enough to know how to do them both.
What would you like to be?
Finished with my Senior Thesis.
Who are your favorite writers?
Handke, Thomas Mann, Hesse.
What are your favorite works of literature?
Great Expectations quite recently. Goethe still has resonance for Germans.
Who is your favorite character of fiction?
Demian. I wish I were more like him.
What works of fiction have influenced your sexual proclivities?
Against the Grain, Philosophy in the Bedroom, The Man with a Maid, The Autobiography of a Flea.
Who is your hero in real life?
After Hitler, Germans are notoriously gun-shy of heroes.
What person in popular culture do you admire most?
Jesus, that's very difficult. I don't even follow the Bundesliga players-- that's what you Americans call soccer. I'm particularly fond of movies, so Raquel Welch?
What is it you most dislike?
Feeling as though other people can see inside me.
What event in history do you most admire?
The French Revolution, minus the beheadings.
What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Other than a greater masculine endowment? Hmmm, I suppose patience.
How would you like to die?
With a woman's lips wrapped around.... No, seriously, I would hope I would be struck down by a car walking home from confession. I'm afraid I'm terribly Catholic in that regard. Whatever sins I commit, I want to be absolved of them and be welcomed into Heaven like the prodigal son.
What is your present state of mind?
Totally infatuated with Cassie.